I was warned when first diagnosed with MS that this saying “but you look so good!" would eventually become the most annoying.
Though said with good intentions, what it becomes interpreted as is “you dont look sick.”
No, I dont. I look the same as I did before. And I can even still look “really damn good”, it just takes me about 3 hours and instead of blow drying my hair I sit in front of my big box fan while I do my make-up. True story.
But inside, my immune system is eating away at my nervous system. Looks are deceiving: I am sick.
I have been at a lost for words with regards to what to write lately.
Its a constant battle between:
What I want to say: “I feel sick 24/7. I am very sad that I cant be the same Eliz I was 6 months ago. I get extremely frustrated that Ive lost my voice and my ability to walk without support. I hate not knowing what the future will bring. I would never have guessed I would be living a life disabled. I wish I could go outside without an ice pack. I hate MS.”
What I know I need to say: “I have the support of 1000s helping me get through this journey. This is my life now and my focus should be on how to live with it. It could be worse. Happiness and time treats all hurts. Positive thinking is the only way to move forward. God wouldnt give me a mountain if I couldnt climb it.”
So there you have it. The truth of how I feel and the facts around how I should handle it.
Over the past few years I got to thinking how awesome it would be to have a job as a life coach.
Little did I realize my first client would be myself.
But hey, at least I look good. (: