more than a moment

Life feels relentless, and as it is beautiful, I wonder sometimes if this quest fulfilled by perseverance and courage ever becomes less of a struggle for more than just a moment…

This was written by a good friend of mine today.  It defines this day perfectly.

This blog’s purpose is to provide hope for myself, others with MS, my family and all my readers.

However, today’s post, might not be as “cheery” as others.  Because honestly, today was not cheery.  It sucked. 

This morning I woke up with a horrific headache.  The cause of the headache could be from a various of things: my Rebif injection I took late last night, my lesion, my other medicines, heat, stress, tense.  Just like everything else with MS, there is no bulls-eye answer, so thus no bulls-eye remedy.

Along with my headache came the inability to speak.  My words stutter on the tip of my mouth.  I have so much to say and yet, I am not able to say it. 

I wake up every morning with the same thought “new day, more hope, I will get better, lets fight this”.  And every day MS keeps beating me back down. 

Will this ever become less of a struggle for more than a moment?  Please?

(moment pause)

As I always say, there are never bad days, only bad moments.  Today had some bad moments.  But it had good moments too. 

For one, I showered.  A darn cold shower (how I long for a hot shower hah) and even shaved my legs.  TMI maybe but for those with MS or those with tremors, this is a big Occupational Therapy moment.  No cuts either!

I biked on the recumbent bike for 20 minutes.  That was good physical therapy.

And for all those pinterest lovers, I did another pinterest craft for OT.  It was quite easy and just lovely!  I’ll make a separate post about it so I can “pin” it. (:

I keep having to remind myself that it will get better.  But I’ve also been telling myself that for the past 5 months. 

The best we can do in hard times is keep our heads up and “sparkle”.  That, as I was just reminded, can never be taken away.  You are born with it.  Your “sparkle”, whatever it is, will always be there.  You can hide it from the world or you can embrace it and use it to your advantage.

Which is what I will do.  I will just continue sparkling.  And hoping for a moment.  And a better day.

Love, Eliz